I’ve been away for a while, haven’t I? Well, what can I say? APs swallow your life and spit it back out to you in pieces. (This is actually a lie, but it’s my lie, so I’m sticking to it).

But while I was routinely ignoring and then freaking out over my APs, people in high places were doing very important things. Just last week, Maine passed legislation that allows same-sex marriage. New Hampshire should be voting about similar laws this week (and according to most sources, it looks good). New York finally has finally got their shit together after what seems like months of dilly-dallying over the issue. They are voting in their Senate, literally as I write this. Washington D.C. ruled that they would recognize same sex marriage from other states. Then of course, you already have Vermont, Iowa, Massachusetts, and Connecticut. I’m thrilled to see that if all these laws go through that we will have seven states, nearly an entire region (with an exception of Rhode Island) where marriage equality has triumphed.

Yes, I’ll admit, I may be prematurely excited. California’s Proposition 8 was a big loss (and learning experience). Maine already has a similar fight as California beginning as anti-gay groups have already lobbied for its repeal through referendum. And the small victory in Washington D.C. can easily be reversed through Congress action, as it has in the past, although Nancy Pelosi has said that Congress wouldn’t interfere.

Regardless of the setbacks that the movement is facing, change is happening and that in itself is enough to thrill me. Every victory made is a victory for me. It may be incredibly selfish to minimize an entire movement into a means for achieving my happiness, but I cannot really help it. I want to fall in love, not fight for love. I’m not entirely sure I want to be married, but I want the option to marry and I want the option to marry whomever I want. Male or female. I want the choice to be mine. Not any government, not any religion, but mine and mine alone. I’ve been open here that I’m bisexual, so the possibility – and the probability – that I will love someone of my own sex is high. And I do not want anyone to take that right to love away from me.

And honestly, the fight for marriage equality isn’t just about being able to marry. Just at the fight for women’s suffrage wasn’t just about being able to vote. The freedom of marriage has much larger implications for the GLBT community. It’s a matter of equality in all aspects of our lives. It’s the right to live without fear or shame. If there is one thing that I would love to change for future generations of young GLBT people, it is the feeling of shame that is imposed upon people because of their sexuality. Although I know full and well that it was never a concious decision to be gay or bi or straight, I still feel the years of control and constraint haunting me. Years of being told that I’m wrong and sinful have sunk under my skin and forever skewed my viewpoint of myself. Although I do not believe this anymore, it is something that I will never be able to escape and that deeply saddens me. No one should be forced to hate themselves for something they cannot control. No one.

I just finished watching a documentary on Harvey Milk’s life (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZNGpB9A2js&feature=PlayList&p=87D068331ADA3F0E&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=6) and was touched by some of the beautiful speeches he made, including the Hope Speech and the “That’s What America Is” speech. Read the words he said:

“On the Statue of Liberty it says: “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to be free…” In the Declaration of Independence it is written: “All men are created equal and they are endowed with certain inalienable rights…” and in our national anthem it says: “Oh, say does that Star-Spangled Banner yet wave o’er the Land of the Free.”

For Mr. Briggs and Mrs. Bryant and Mr. Starr and all the bigots out there: That’s what America is. No matter how hard you try, you cannot erase those words from the Declaration of Independence. No matter how hard you try, you cannot chip those words from off the base of the Statue of Liberty. And no matter how hard you try, you cannot sing the “Star Spangled Banner” without those words.

That’s what America is. Love it or Leave it.”