Really?

Signed,

Katie

If you didn’t already know this. Proposition 8 passed. Again. The California Supreme Court had the opportunity to vote on the legality of Proposition 8 and they let the precious chance for equality slip through their fingers. The only bright side to this entire nightmare is that they did recognize the 18,000 same sex couples married in 2008.

That’s the part that frustrates me in the time between the legalization of same sex marriage and Proposition 8 18,000 people decided to get married and I know that was just the tip of the iceberg. Think of the thousands more who felt hope. Think of the thousands more who believed that they were going to be treated equally. Think of thousands ofpeople who wantd to get married, planned to get married, and then had that dream taken away from them. It makes me so angry and sad to know that there are all of these people who are now living with a dream deferred because someone out there is ignorant enough to believe that 18,000people are wrong and they believe they have a right to rule over everyone else who disagrees. Yes, I’m being hasty and judgemental myself but I cannot stand to think of all of these people who have just been spit in the face by the California government. Not once, but twice. They have been told that they are undeserving and unequal by the government and this is just rubbing that decision in every GLBT person’s face nationwide.

This whole debacle brings me back to the first time Proposition 8 had been voted on. I must admit that I was rather taken with the Presidental election to give it much attention. I honestly assumed that it would pass. I mean, honestly, it’s freaking California, capital of the bleeding heart liberals. It was virtually incomprehensible to me that it wouldn’t.

But I remember when I discovered the news. I was sitting in history class, discussing the monumental occasion of Obama’s election with friends when someone brought up what a shame it was that Proposition 8 didn’t pass. I remember feeling truly heartbroken, crushed. I remember sitting there, tears welling up in my eyes, trying to keep a straight face in front of all of my straight friends. Without even realizing it, I had placed so much hope in California. Not in California in a place, but California as an idea. It was the first victory I’d really counted on in gay rights and it was the first loss I ever felt as a bisexual individual. It was the first time I’d ever really hoped that one day I would one day would fall in love and get married and have an open, honest home. And then I saw that all fall to pieces before me. It was heartbreaking to watch Google fill with hits of the GLBT failures of that day. In California and nationwide. And the overwhelming irony that so much equality could be achieved with the election of our first black president, yet so much could be lost for another minority.

And that’s why I’m so sad again. To see the loss happen again. To have the wounds ripped open fresh.

As I write this I feel like I’m shouting in a vacuum. Who am I? I am an invisible voice crying out into the vast vacancies of the cyberspace. I am young. I am powerless. And most of all, I am afraid.

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